12 TWITTER TYPES THAT I WILL LOVE TO BLOCK
There is no doubt about it. Twitter is the most increasing MicroBlogging site on the net.
More than 7,000,000 people are using it has a marketing and networking tool. I have to admit I am
fascinated every time I am twitting and I am doing it a lot. It had crossed my mind that like any
Social media site you can meet different kind of people. There are twitters that I will love to follow but there
some that I will be glad to block. Here they are: 12 twitter types that I will love to block. You probably met them,
read there twits and said to yourself: “WTF they are doing here?” talking to themselves missing the great
opportunity to find new friends on the net and establish a real networking.
THE SALES MAN
I am going to sell you something that you don’t need. real estates, software, cars, vacation, flowers.
how the hell you can sell me flowers on Twitter ? There’s one thing you can be sure, you probably
don’t need what the SALES MAN is trying to sell. Knocking on your profile Page like it was a real door,
trying to put his foot inside. He is not here for socializing, he didn’t hear about the recession and
he must sell you the best deal of your life. No thank you, get the fuck of my page before I block you down.
DIGITAL FREAK
Usually this is the type that must shout his twits and tell the all neighborhood about his new I-POD apps
and cool software that he is the only guy who knows about it. Even he is 35-45 years old he still speaks like
a kid, talking about a new toy. He will never read your twits and the most important message he is delivering is his
new I-POD. You can kiss my digital ass with your I-POD apps. Grow up please, life on Twitter is not a monolog.
It’s a dialog between people.
THE BITCH
She is the SEO of the NDBT GROUP and only god knows what they are doing. THE BITCH will look at you
from her profile page with a kind of a look that can kill you. She acts like Sigorny Wiber and she usually
open the hunting season on twitter. She is not here for smiling and hugging, she is here for work.
The Bitch is the boss, don’t come late and let her speak. Other wise she will block you. Don’t worry
The Bitch is not going to follow you if you are not from her style and class. You must be SEO
or Donald Tramp himself. If you are just a working class hero buzz of from her territory,
other wise she will eat you alive.
THE BLABLABLA
For the million time you are going to read that The BLABLABLA is having sushi and than he will send
his twits talking about the new café-bar in L.A. he will twit you about his new coffee table, new shoes
or stupid T-shirt that he bought on sail and suddenly you will feel that you are watching an episode
of Seinfeld. But its not funny. Its fucking boring. I wonder if The BLABLABLA knows that he is so boring.
THE BABE
God she is so hot and she is here to make love to you with 140 characters. Hooo mama
Please stop. I know its not you, you are not blond, you are not 90-60-90 and you naturally
Don’t wear that jeans size. I know who you are, you are fat balding boring link promoter from Minnesota
who is trying to hassle me with babe photo because he think I am so stupid and horny to buy his links.
THE WILD CAT
She is real, she is not a fat bolding link promoter from Minnesota. She lives in L.A or NYC and she is here
for hunting a new boyfriend, expending her network. If you are married stay away from the WILD CAT
because you wouldn’t get anything. She will not read your twits. Believe me it’s a waste of time.
Follow her and you will discover that life is big fucking party. The WILD CAT is dancing 24 hours
like the Energizer bunny. She is not resting, she lives in the fast line and you are too old for that game.
THE RT FREAK
There is all ways someone who doesn’t know when to stop. It’s like a joke. you cant tell the same joke twice.
But the RT FREAK doesn’t care. He is not saying something original. He is all ways looking for twits
that he can re-twit. Trying to gain other people work maybe because he too lazy. Send a twit,
let’s say you are going to write a new twit: “your mother is sucking elephant dick”. Don’t be surprised
if the RT FREAK is going to re- twit it.
THE HUSH TAGS JUNKY
# mw2 #sxsw #hhrs #tcot #followfriday #jobfeeder #rsstotwitter. This is the evolution of stupidity,
a real proof that there are some twitters that don’t need anyone for starting a dialog. They are doing fine
trying to express themselves in a new way. But this is too much. If you follow there twits it will look like
you are following a secret service agent in a special mission. Hash tags where born to escape from
Google regular tags. To cerate a new field of tags and communicate with a unique users.
If you are doing it as a junky you will get the opposite and you will not gain new followers.
This is an annoying way of twitting.
THE NAME DROPPER
Even that he doesn’t know them personally, the NAME DROPPER will find a way to post @ev @biz @jack
and @guykawasaki on his twits. NAME DROPPER will find a way to ask them questions in public
and will try to give everyone a feeling that they are his close friends. You should try it once, just follow me:
@barakobama when the hell you are going to buy that dog? I can’t wait anymore.
@britneyspears can you help me to buy 2 tickets to Christina Aguilera concert in London?
You must try it sometimes just to make sure how pathetic you look. If you come a cross NAME DROPPER
twits ran away because he is like a twitter paparazzi. If you are not a celebrity, you will not get a
chance to get from him a good twit.
THE TWITTER KING
OMG the TWITTER KING has 97,341 followers or maybe 63,754 followers. How the fuck he can follow
so many people? Is he a Guru or something? I never heard his name. If he is so popular how come,
I don’t know him? If you are trying to follow TWITTER KING don’t expect that he will follow you back.
Why not? because He is the king and twitter is his kingdom. I wonder what he is doing when
he is not twitting. Probably he is executing his twitter servants for not serving the mill on time.
It’s real great to follow THE KING but I prefer to follow common people like me. As far as I care
The TWITTER KING can kiss my digital ass.
THE MAMA
When I look at her I smell the cookies in my grandmother’s kitchen, keep asking myself
What she is doing here? Maybe she Try to find some good recipes for a lamb with rosemary.
I am happy to tell you, She is not here for cooking. she is here for a good networking twits. THE MAMA
is acting like she is in a tea party. Having a small talk, she chat, tried to mingling with everyone around,
finding her way in the twitter world. If you feel you miss your grandmother here is your chance to get a free hug.
Just twit her and she will send you a cocky, make you a good cup of tea.
THE NIKY MANIAC
NIKY MANIAC is Lance Armstrong best friend. While you are wasting a few calories on twitting,
He is here to tell you that he broke another bicycle record. Next week he is going for marathon and maybe
next month he will die from a stork. THE NIKY MANIAC never rest. He is here to show all twitters that life is
a big challenge. Every day is an opportunity to show his skills to coach potato like you. Trust me, stay away
from The NIKY MANIAC, his twits can really kill you. Believe me you are not in shape for a marathon,
you just finished your juicy double hamburger and all you need is some rest from his athletics twits.
This is the short list. Of course there are many more freaks and junky twitters that you will never
get the chance to meet. They are running too fast, twitting messages that only they can understand.
Some times when I look at the twitter message board I feel there are some twitters who forgot to
take there pills. I wonder if you fill the same as I do. If i did forget a type, you can write me a comment
and tell me about him. I am sure there are many who are living in a Twitter bubble. don’t wake them up,
because maybe twitter is the best way for them to escape from reality.
