leadership--developing-a-code-life

Contributed by Irene Watson, MA

Several weeks ago, I talked about the problems with workaholism. While workaholism is definitely a problem for many codependent people, especially the firstborn child, there is an opposite problem that is just as pernicious in a dysfunctional family. 

Many times, the firstborn over-achiever must deal with jealousy from siblings. For example, the oldest son may win the school spelling bee or be an outstanding athlete. Age difference may prohibit the second born from competing on the same playing field as the firstborn. Other times, the second born child may feel such a pressure from adults, who expect him or her to be a copy of the older sibling, that he gives up trying to succeed at anything. The second born chooses, perhaps subconsciously, to become a failure.