There are so many threats to relationships.
Couples face a lot of challenges that they have to overcome in order to make their relationship long-term. Men and women don't live on love alone and therefore they have to work and put a lot of effort into many different things; they may both come home tired and a little stressed out.
There are also outside temptations to both of them, many places to go if they find themselves being bad communicators - they might be tempted to have an affair in order to get back some closeness and some attention.
Finances is also a strain on many relationships; money is one of the major causes of breakups. When a couple is not clear about their common goals, they might not agree about what to spend money on either.
The normal fluctuation of feelings can also be a threat to a relationship. We may go through periods where we are not very attracted to our partner or maybe we don't have a whole lot to offer as far as intimacy goes - this can be the exact same period where our spouse is very attracted to us and feels frustrated when we withdraw.
Perhaps the number one reason for breakups is bad communication that leads to helplessness, frustration, anger and disappointment in our partner. If a couple fails to address their problems or are simply unable to move past their differences, they split up and although life goes on, they might be left with a lot of mixed emotions. When a relationship ends, a lot of expectations and hopes die along with it. The "us" is gone, all the plans and goals have vanished and we are left - in most cases - with an empty feeling, perhaps even feelings of shame and guilt.
No matter who ends the relationship, no matter if you are leaving or you have been left, I'm pretty sure there will be a period of grieving on both parts. That's not to say that moving on is not a positive thing and that you have made a mistake in breaking up; it is simply a natural healing process that people go through when they lose something. It is not necessarily the loss of your partner that you grieve but merely the loss of your life as you knew it . It is very important to take some time and allow yourself to feel bad, to be on your own and let yourself work through your emotions.
You will recover eventually and be prepared for new life-changing choices.
There is no speedy way to recover from a divorce or a breakup but it's a good idea to not isolate yourself with your pain ; sure , spend time alone but make sure that you have friends to talk to and to go out with so that you have some other input than your own misery . It sometimes helps to see happy people around you and know that life really does go on . Like any grieving process , it takes time and you have to give yourself the time . Don't let anybody rush you into a new relationship or doing things that you don't want to do - all I'm saying is , push yourself a little bit towards a happier you. Do nice things for yourself and allow people to help you .
Then one day you're going to wake up and realize that you are happy again .
