From Gina Lake’s blog at
www.radicalhappiness.com
What heals the past? The old adage claims that time heals. If that’s so, why does time heal, and is it really time that heals? Over time, our memories weaken and our ability to keep bringing the past into the present through thought weakens. Life starts getting in the way, as whatever was lost eventually gets replaced by new life, and this new life begins to get our attention more than the old life and what happened in the past. Time heals because life moves on to something new. It brings us new experiences, opportunities, challenges, and relationships. Since we can only give our attention to one thought at a time, at a certain point, thoughts about the past (memories) are given less attention, the memories fade, and other thoughts take their place.
If this is how time heals, then this is very good news because this means we can speed the process of healing and release ourselves from suffering over the past just by moving our attention away from thoughts about the past and onto what is happening right now. Being present is actually what heals, not time. Shifting our attention this way is not denying or repressing the past but simply not creating unnecessary pain for ourselves, which is a very wise choice. We can continue to recreate, or reanimate, the pain of the past, or we can choose to leave it in the past once we see that bringing it into the present doesn’t serve us but only extends the pain and keeps us at a distance from our life.
Being present to positive thoughts or anything other than memories heals the past. Whatever we give our attention to becomes our experience. If we put it on the past, then we will relive the pain of that and probably create more pain by telling ourselves painful stories, such as “This shouldn’t have happened.” “If only I’d done something differently.” “Why does this always happen to me?” We create more pain for ourselves on top of whatever loss we had by reliving the experience and telling ourselves things about it that stirs up more painful feelings. This doesn’t have to happen, and this isn’t a healthy way to grieve. It’s just a way that we unknowingly increase our suffering and remove ourselves from the present moment, where peace and happiness are available.
Being present to whatever is happening right here and now is always satisfying because reality—what is real and true right now—is intrinsically satisfying. On the other hand, when we identify with the egoic mind instead of being present, we experience the ego’s discontentment and the suffering it creates. The past is a figment of the ego’s imagination, as is the future. The past and future only exist as thoughts, and these thoughts come from the ego, which is, itself, a thought. The ego creates a sense of time through thoughts about the past and the future, and we can become entranced by its world when we believe these thoughts are the past and future. Our imaginations can seem very real, especially when they create feelings, which make our thoughts seem even more real. The painful feelings related to a loss, however, often come more from what we tell ourselves about it than from the loss itself, especially the farther away in time we get from the loss.
There’s a difference between grief and suffering unnecessarily over the past. Grief is a natural release of emotion over a loss, which takes time to adjust to. But many grieve far beyond the natural grieving process because they continue to reinforce their pain by going over the past in their minds and telling themselves painful stories. This isn’t helpful and only prolongs the healing process.
Stopping this re-stimulation of pain by not giving your attention to memories or stories about the past will heal the past and help you move on to what life intends for you now. With every loss comes new possibilities, and when you are present to anything other than thoughts and feelings, you are likely to pick up on what life’s intentions are for you and where it is leading you. Furthermore, by being present to your life as it is right now, you will discover the acceptance, joy, and excitement that this that is living you—Essence—has over being alive, even when life is challenging.
Life is always good, and we are always having the experience we need. If it doesn’t feel that way, then you are listening to the mind’s sad or negative story about it. This kind of suffering is so unnecessary. When you drop out of your egoic mind and into this simple moment, that is what you discover. Life can be lived very well from this place of Presence, or being in the now, because Presence is what’s real, and the ego and its thoughts are not. The good news is that you have never needed the ego’s thoughts to live your life and, therefore, freedom from suffering is possible.
Gina Lake is an awakened teacher who is devoted to helping others wake up and live in the now through counseling, intensives, and her books. She has a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and over twenty years experience supporting people in their spiritual growth as an astrologer and a channel. She is the author of eight books, including
Radical Happiness, Living in the Now, Return to Essence, What About Now? Anatomy of Desire, Choosing Love, Embracing the Now, and
Getting Free. Her website offers information about her books and consultations and free e-books, book excerpts and chapters, a monthly newsletter, a blog, and audio and video recordings:
www.radicalhappiness.com.
