strength

Contributed by Barbara Sinor, PhD

Here I am, almost sixty-four-years old. I could have never imagined as a little girl growing up in southern California that my life would be so full at sixty-four. My thoughts as a child were only to marry a loving man who was kind and generous; have two beautiful children that were perfect in every way; and, hope my family would still love and approve of me when I shared with them all the terrible things I did behind their backs!

Inside, I still feel about eighteen-years old, outside I look much older. I am still growing up each day. As I explore my Self when talking with others, or writing yet another book, I find my growth in ways that seem subtle and soft. My life is filled with remembered events, celebrations, and colorful ideals; it is also filled with life's transgressions, woundedness, and moments of uncertainty.

As I continue to grow up, I assume more strength, more independence, and more courage to move toward my ultimate challenges of unveiling my true Self. Growing up comes with many heartfelt cries, but we must learn to smile through the cries of pain until our soul laughs out loud.

Contributed by Barbara Sinor, PhD

This little story may change your life. You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. I cannot take credit for writing this fable but find it insightful and challenging:

“A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of figuring everything out and struggling so hard. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil.  In the first, she placed
carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last pot she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee liquid out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter she asked, "Tell me what you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the daughter replied. 

Not feeling like your old self? This happens even to the best of us but there is a way to get it back. Here are 5 strategies that have been tested and proven to boost your self-esteem.

The first strategy is to change your body language. How we sit and how we move shows a lot about who we are. This is because when people look at you, they observe not only your verbal signs but also those that are nonverbal, it is said that 80% of communication is nonverbal. The best way to show people that you have high esteem is sitting up or standing straight, keeping your upper body relaxed, smiling, keeping your chin up and breathing normally.

The second strategy involves recalling past victories. You probably experienced a few challenges as you were growing up but you are able to overcome them. Although the obstacles you may be facing right now are a little different, it doesn’t change the fact that you can also succeed like you did before so don’t sell yourself short and use that as a moral booster.

Give Your Self-Esteem a Boost

Now that you have recalled past successes, you can picture yourself achieving others in the future. This third strategy is known as visualization.

Here, you try to imagine what you want to achieve and how you will do it. One way to do that is to play some relaxing music in the background and then picture everything in your head from start to finish.